How to know if you have Swine Flu
Here is how to diagnose yourself if you think you might have swine flu:
- Respiratory symptoms: You sneeze uncontrollably, especially around animals.
- Food: You’ve eaten bacon or pork in the last 48 hours.
- Travel: You’ve traveled to infected countries in the last six months, such as Australia and Brazil.
- Vectors: You have children who go to school.
- Behavior: You snort when you laugh.
- Mental state: You begin to think that Miss Piggy looks sexy.
If you meet two or more of these criteria, you probably have swine flu and should take appropriate nutritional supplements and shower frequently.